Hello,
I've posted a very short story (just 300 words) for the next meeting.
I have a question - has the meeting reverted to in-person (and what is the venue), or are people still joining online? I live on the Central Coast but will travel down for my first meeting.
Thanks and cheers,
Bron
Quantitative
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- Posts: 35
- Joined: Mon 06 Mar, 2023 12:38 pm
Quantitative
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- Posts: 36
- Joined: Wed 04 Jan, 2023 12:54 pm
Re: Quantitative
Hi Bron,
Welcome to the group.
At the moment, the meetings are just online. But a kind offer to travel to meet up.
Thanks for that short story and nice work!
Love the choice of setting and how you really incorporated it into the story: the young Japanese woman's English skills, references to Bashō, Fujisan and haiku, etc.
Felt pulled through the story - you had me intrigued and interested.
I sat up a little straighter from just the first 5 words: "Trains snaked magically off their tracks".
From the first paragraph, I had a very different image of Hector than the one I had by the end of the story.
- At first, I learn that his favourite films have trains off their tracks, flying across estuaries and meadows - which made me wonder whether he was a young kid;
- At first, he says that bullet trains go "as fast" as bullets - which they certainly don't (but it's fine to say that, in his POV, of course, if that's what he's thinking or reflects his style) - making me think he's not an engineer or mathematician, may be more figurative than literal, and may be younger;
- then he gets poetic, which is fantastic;
- then he considers that he may start to be falling in love with the young woman he just met - which made me think he may also be younger, but is definitely single;
- then gets poetic again, which is awesome;
- then you have the reveal in the last paragraph, which I was surprised about given what I'd read. That surprise can be good or bad. Maybe it's very intentional. I just wonder if his favourite films do have trains off their tracks (or whether they are more traditional Japanese films, or poetic films, or ...).
Look forward to meeting you and to discussing.
Cheers, Kane
Welcome to the group.
At the moment, the meetings are just online. But a kind offer to travel to meet up.
Thanks for that short story and nice work!
Love the choice of setting and how you really incorporated it into the story: the young Japanese woman's English skills, references to Bashō, Fujisan and haiku, etc.
Felt pulled through the story - you had me intrigued and interested.
I sat up a little straighter from just the first 5 words: "Trains snaked magically off their tracks".
From the first paragraph, I had a very different image of Hector than the one I had by the end of the story.
- At first, I learn that his favourite films have trains off their tracks, flying across estuaries and meadows - which made me wonder whether he was a young kid;
- At first, he says that bullet trains go "as fast" as bullets - which they certainly don't (but it's fine to say that, in his POV, of course, if that's what he's thinking or reflects his style) - making me think he's not an engineer or mathematician, may be more figurative than literal, and may be younger;
- then he gets poetic, which is fantastic;
- then he considers that he may start to be falling in love with the young woman he just met - which made me think he may also be younger, but is definitely single;
- then gets poetic again, which is awesome;
- then you have the reveal in the last paragraph, which I was surprised about given what I'd read. That surprise can be good or bad. Maybe it's very intentional. I just wonder if his favourite films do have trains off their tracks (or whether they are more traditional Japanese films, or poetic films, or ...).
Look forward to meeting you and to discussing.
Cheers, Kane
Last edited by KaneW on Sun 16 Apr, 2023 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
- DazWizzle
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Wed 24 May, 2017 10:37 pm
Re: Quantitative
Hi Bron,
At this time, all meetings are still online. Still too much going on at this time to organise anything in person. I plan to book something again in the future. We did meet up at the speakership hotel in Surry hills (near central station). I believe Naomi said they are no longer open on a Sunday so we will wait and see.
Regards,
Darren
"The poop was me... Sorry. In my defence, I've never had the poop talk before" - Jaime
"I am no longer engaging in the mermaid poop conversation" - Karin
Darren
"The poop was me... Sorry. In my defence, I've never had the poop talk before" - Jaime
"I am no longer engaging in the mermaid poop conversation" - Karin
- DazWizzle
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Wed 24 May, 2017 10:37 pm
Re: Quantitative
Hey Bron,
The description in the first paragraph was really well done. Got the Japan vibe straight away. For something so short, this had a lot in it.
The description in the first paragraph was really well done. Got the Japan vibe straight away. For something so short, this had a lot in it.
Regards,
Darren
"The poop was me... Sorry. In my defence, I've never had the poop talk before" - Jaime
"I am no longer engaging in the mermaid poop conversation" - Karin
Darren
"The poop was me... Sorry. In my defence, I've never had the poop talk before" - Jaime
"I am no longer engaging in the mermaid poop conversation" - Karin
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- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed 04 Jan, 2023 10:33 am
Re: Quantitative
Hi Bron,
Very nice. I love how you make Hector a romantic poet who sees a brief encounter as an opportunity and then we find in the final scene with his reflection, a somewhat sad, older figure. Like he is 2 different people.
Cheers
Ray
Very nice. I love how you make Hector a romantic poet who sees a brief encounter as an opportunity and then we find in the final scene with his reflection, a somewhat sad, older figure. Like he is 2 different people.
Cheers
Ray