Catching Dendra synopsis

[KatWolf]

Hi, sorry for the lateness of this post, but I would really appreciate any feedback on my synopsis for my novel Catching Dendra which I've tried to sum up in a single page.
Thanks, talk to you at the meeting.
Katherine

[KaneW]

Hi Katherine,

Nice work! You've done well to fit it onto 1 page - it's so hard to do. I get a solid picture of the novel from reading this.

I like the reoccurring dream, the lies, the danger, the hidden agendas and the high stakes (Earth's survival; whether Dendra lives or dies - or 'lives' in statis).

Some suggestions/ideas/comments:
- Dendra is your main protagonist, and I'd love a little more about her than where she is born and her age. Is she psychic or a seer, noting the dream visions? Does she have astronaut training (noting the space travel - although, by 2274, maybe everyone can)? I get that she's curious (that's implied), but I'm not sure if she's smart, strong, brave, etc. Just something more would be nice;
- I wonder if you could start with Dendra and then incorporate some world-building, instead of opening with that;
- I'd appreciate something more on the aliens. Little green men? Purple octopus? Floating heads?
- What are the gang's lies?

And, a couple of very minor ones:
- suggest hyphenating the age: "20-year-old";
- believe it's "practice" (with a 'c') in that context;
- not sure why "master hacker" is in italic.

Hope that helps.

Speak on Sunday.

Cheers, Kane

[DazWizzle]

Hi Kat,

Interesting idea. Just for clarity, are they living on earth indoors?
If Dendra is Australian born, was this before the climate got too extreme, or was this indoors.
Would the polar regions of earth have a more temperate climate on earth? Perhaps that's a possibility to explore.
Is there alternating pov between Kole and Dendra?
Are the Alien's introduced earlier in the story.

Looking forward to catching up.

[BeeMore]

Hi Kat,
Nice meeting you yesterday! I would love to read your novel - as you know from reading my first few pages, I have a thing for eco-disaster scenarios.
I've attached some comments in your doc.
Bron