Kane - PERILS OF THE PAST - Ch1,2

[KaneW]

Hi all,
Happy new year.
Please find attached the first two chapters (under 7k words, of course) of my high fantasy manuscript, PERILS OF THE PAST.
Look forward to reading your work.
See you at our meeting.
Cheers, Kane

[KatWolf]

Hi Kane,

Thanks for the chance to read your work. An amazing world you've created!

I have added a few comments to chapter 1 only. Your language and writing style is very suited to the High Fantasy genre, and although I understand the genre lends itself to heavy world building, I just wondered whether you might consider reducing the amount of characters you introduce early on. There was just so much to take in (I think I counted about thirteen characters mentioned in the first chapter). If they are minor characters, perhaps don't mention them until they are major players.

In one of my comments, I've written: starting point? I felt like that was where the real story began (again just something to consider).

Happy to chat to you tomorrow in more detail about any of this. Also feel free to disregard anything you don't agree with

All the best,

Katherine

[DazWizzle]

My notes, not too many. Look forward to discussing it with you.

[KaneW]

Thanks so much, Kat and Darren! Really appreciate it - and great comments. Speak soon

[Raymond]

Hi Kane,

Enjoyed the chapters. Will comment with my thoughts in the meeting.

Regards,

Raymond